An odd but important fact is that, in what [Jefferson] called his "original Rough draft," he did put it more clearly. "We hold these truths to be sacred & undeniable," he wrote, "that all men are created equal and independent; that from that equal creation they derive certain inherent & inalienable rights..." "Created equal and independent" is better than the flat "created equal." because it focuses the meaning Jefferson intended for "equal": it implies social equality, with nobody naturally entitled to lord it over anybody else. Moreover, the original "from that equal creation they derive... inherent & inalienable rights" also clarifies the import of "all men are created equal" - that is, that all are equally entitled (regardless of innate disparities) to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," because these rights are derived from the equal creation. The equal creation and the entitlement to the inalienable rights are inextricably linked: one is essentially the meaning of the other. It is not known whether Jefferson made the changes on his own (although they appear to be in his handwriting), or whether they resulted from consultations with his committee members Benjamin Franklin and John Adams. Either way, they are a demonstration that editing does not always guarantee improvement.


E.M. Halliday, Understanding Thomas Jefferson by E.M. Halliday, 2001. p.223