what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?

Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman).

Loneliness is the awareness of being incomplete because you lack the other who is supposed to make you whole. The desire for the other is always desire for wholeness. Love is the encounter of two wholes. If it is a lie that attracts us to another person, it is because we do not yet recognize that the other is a lie. The fantasy lover is always perfect. The real person is imperfect, and their imperfections, if we allow them to, interfere with our dreams. But this is not a tragedy, it is merely a cruel reminder of what we are. The heavy eyelids of despair prevent us from seeing clearly: the distinction between a dream and a lie. A dream is a fantasy, a lie is an intention. Perfection stinks of intention. Perfection is unattainable, which means it is a lie. But it is a lie that makes us slaves. It makes us dependent on the person who embodies the lie. It makes us weak.

And when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. What do you call it, freedom or loneliness? But it is not so simple. Once you are free, you struggle to keep from becoming a slave again. And the weight of slavery is heavier than the weight of freedom. To be free means to be responsible, without excuses and without help from others. It is to walk naked and vulnerable, without the protective cloaks of pride or power. It is to stand in the wind and embrace the sun, without the protection of your shadow. To be free is to accept the responsibility of your own destiny, and with it the realization that you can never be perfect, only whole.

Milan Kundera

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1984), Part Three, Chapter One

unable are the loved to die

Unable are the Loved to die

For Love is Immortality,

Nay, it is Deity —

Unable they that love — to die

For Love reforms Vitality

Into Divinity.

Emily Dickinson

Unable are the Loved to die. American Poems, © 2000–2022 Gunnar Bengtsson.

break free of our old selves

As we really begin to keep the first commandment—loving God with “all thy heart, with all thy might, mind, and strength” (D&C 59:5; see also Matt. 22:37)—giving time, talent, and treasure is then accompanied by fully giving of ourselves.

Sometimes, our holding back occurs because we lack faith or we are too entangled with the cares of the world. Other times, there is in us an understandable tremulousness which slows our yielding, because we sense what further yielding might bring.

Yet we need to break free of our old selves—the provincial, constraining, and complaining selves—and become susceptible to the shaping of the Lord. But the old self goes neither gladly nor quickly. Even so, this subjection to God is really emancipation.

Neal A. Maxwell

“Willing to Submit”, General Conference April 1985

Required, in particular, is meekness of mind which recognizes God’s perfect love of us and His omniscience. By acknowledging these reassuring realities and accepting that God desires our full development and true happiness, we are readied even as the learning experiences come. Such meekness requires genuine intellectual honesty, owning up to the learning experiences of the past and listening to the Holy Ghost as he preaches to us from the pulpit of memory.

As the Lord communicates with the meek and submissive, fewer decibels are required, and more nuances are received. Even the most meek, like Moses (see Num. 12:3), learn overwhelming things they “never had supposed.” (Moses 1:10.) But it is only the meek mind which can be so shown and so stretched—not those, as Isaiah wrote, who “are wise in their own eyes.” (Isa. 5:21; see also 2 Ne. 9:29 and 15:21.)

God’s counsel aligns us and conjoins us with the great realities of the universe; whereas sin empties, isolates, and separates us, confining us to the solitary cell of selfishness. Hence the lonely crowd in hell.

Spiritual submissiveness means, instead, community and communion as the mind and the heart become settled. We then spend much less time deciding, and much more time serving; otherwise, the more hesitation, the less inspiration.

Yielding one’s heart to God signals the last stage in our spiritual development. Only then are we beginning to be fully useful to God! How can we sincerely pray to be an instrument in His hands if the instrument seeks to do the instructing?

Neal A. Maxwell

“Willing to Submit”, General Conference April 1985

trust the doctrine of Christ

If we trust the doctrine of Christ, we will approach our Heavenly Father every day in humble, secret prayer, where we can express gratitude for the gift of His Son and for all of our blessings. We can pray for the revelatory companionship of the Holy Ghost, pray to align our will with His, pray to reflect upon our covenants and renew our commitment to keep them. We can pray to sustain and express love for our prophets, seers, and revelators; pray for the cleansing power of forgiveness; and pray for the strength to resist temptation. I invite you to make prayer a priority in your life, seeking each day to improve your communication with God.

If we trust the doctrine of Christ, we will set aside the shiny things of the world so that we can focus on the Redeemer of the world. We will limit or eliminate time spent on social media; digital games; wasteful, excessive, or inappropriate entertainment; the allure of this world’s treasures and vanities; and any other activities that give place to the false traditions and misguided philosophies of men. It is only in Christ we find truth and lasting fulfillment.

Evan A. Schmutz

"Trusting the Doctrine of Christ" General Conference April 2023

sustaining

The Savior is not absent from our mortal journeys. For the past two days we have heard Him speak through His chosen leaders that we might draw closer to Him. Time and again, with His pure love and mercy, He sustains us as we face the drama of life. Nephi describes: “My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions. … He hath filled me with his love.”

That love is evident when we sustain one another in His work.

We sustain our living prophet at general conference, and the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, General Authorities, and Officers of the Church. To sustain means to hold up another person, to give them our attention, to be faithful to their trust, to act upon their words. They speak by inspiration of the Lord; they understand the current issues, the moral decline of society, and the adversary’s increasing efforts to thwart the Father’s plan. In holding up our hands, we are committing our support, not just for that moment but in our daily lives.

Sustaining includes holding up our stake presidents and bishops, quorum and organization leaders, teachers, and even camp directors in our wards and stakes. Closer to home, we hold up our wives and our husbands, children, parents, extended family, and neighbors. When we hold up one another we are saying, “I am here for you, not just to hold up your arms and hands when they ‘hang down’ but to be a comfort and strength at your side.”

Ronald A. Rasband

“Behold I Am the Light Which Ye Shall Hold Up” General Conference October 2024

his sincere prayer softened my heart

A particularly sacred experience was when the missionaries taught me to pray. I learned that we should address God by name. When we pray, we should speak from our hearts, express our gratitude, and share our hopes and desires. Once we have said all that we want to say, we end our prayer by saying, “In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.” We do this because Jesus commanded us to pray in His name. Praying to Heavenly Father helped me know who He is and my relationship with Him—that I was His beloved spirit son. I learned that because Heavenly Father knows and loves me, He would speak to me personally, uniquely, and in ways I would understand through the Holy Ghost.

There was a time when I really could not recognize the Holy Ghost. I misunderstood, thinking that all I had to do was follow the steps of prayer and something dramatic would happen. One day, during a lesson with the missionaries, I stepped out of the lesson to take a break. I was still confused about what I should do with my life if the restored gospel of Jesus Christ really was true.

As I was about to return to the room where the missionaries were waiting, I heard the voice of one of the missionaries. I heard my name. Instead of opening the door, I listened to the voice on the other side of the door. I was stunned. They were simply praying to Heavenly Father. The one saying the prayer was pleading to God that He would hear my prayer. Though his Japanese was not fluent, hearing his sincere prayer softened my heart. I wondered why they cared about me so much. Then I realized that their prayer in my behalf was a reflection of Heavenly Father and the Savior’s love for me. That love gave me hope, and afterward I did ask God in faith and with real intent. When I did, I felt a joyful and peaceful feeling that I was indeed a child of God and that I had a divine potential and destiny. The plan of salvation sank deep into my heart.

Takashi Wada

"The Words of Christ and the Holy Ghost Will Lead Us to the Truth" General Conference October 2024

born to change

“O youth of the noble birthright, carry on, carry on, carry on!” I testify that you are loved—and you are trusted—today, in 20 years, and forever. Don’t sell your birthright for a mess of pottage. Don’t trade everything for nothing. Don’t let the world change you when you were born to change the world. 

Bradley R. Wilcox

"O Youth of the Noble Birthright" General Conference October 2024

trusted > loved

It is one thing to be loved and another thing entirely to be trusted. In the For the Strength of Youth guide, we read: “Your Father in Heaven trusts you. He has given you great blessings, including the fulness of the gospel and sacred ordinances and covenants that bind you to Him and bring His power into your life. With those blessings comes added responsibility. He knows you can make a difference in the world, and that requires, in many cases, being different from the world.”

Bradley R. Wilcox

"O Youth of the Noble Birthright" General Conference October 2024

you can simultaneously have peace

Please learn that as you wrestle with a challenge and feel sadness because of it, you can simultaneously have peace and rejoicing. Yes, pain, disappointment, frustration, and anguish can be temporary scenes played out on the stage of life. Behind them there can be a background of peace and the positive assurance that a loving Father will keep His promises. You can qualify for those promises by a determination to accept His will, by understanding the plan of happiness, by receiving all of the ordinances, and by keeping the covenants made to assure their fulfillment.

Richard G. Scott

"Trust in the Lord" General Conference October 1995

an experience in profound trust

This life is an experience in profound trust—trust in Jesus Christ, trust in His teachings, trust in our capacity as led by the Holy Spirit to obey those teachings for happiness now and for a purposeful, supremely happy eternal existence. To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning (see Prov. 3:5–7). To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal feelings and experience.

To exercise faith is to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing with you and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good even though you cannot understand how He can possibly do it. We are like infants in our understanding of eternal matters and their impact on us here in mortality. Yet at times we act as if we knew it all. When you pass through trials for His purposes, as you trust Him, exercise faith in Him, He will help you. That support will generally come step by step, a portion at a time. While you are passing through each phase, the pain and difficulty that come from being enlarged will continue. If all matters were immediately resolved at your first petition, you could not grow. Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love.

Richard G. Scott

"Trust in the Lord" General Conference October 1995

See also, Tracy Y. Browning "Seeking Answers to Spiritual Questions" General Conference October 2024

we could be afflicted with and by pride

May I suggest that if you or I believe we are sufficiently strong and stalwart to avoid the arrogance of pride, then perhaps we already are suffering from this deadly spiritual disease. Simply stated, if you or I do not believe we could be afflicted with and by pride, then we are vulnerable and in spiritual danger. In the space of not many days, weeks, months, or years, we might forfeit our spiritual birthright for far less than a mess of pottage.

If, however, you or I believe we could be afflicted with and by pride, then we consistently will do the small and simple things that will protect and help us become “as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us].” “Blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble.”

David A. Bednar

"In the Space of Not Many Years" General Conference October 2024

almost the entire visit happened in silence

A while ago, a stake president and I were visiting members of the Church in a local neighborhood. After we finished our scheduled visits, the stake president asked me if we could go see one more family. He felt impressed that we should talk with them.

We knocked on the door, and a sister opened it. She looked at me, but she didn’t know who I was, so she didn’t express much. I pointed my hand toward the stake president, who greeted her by name. As soon as she heard and saw him, she rejoiced. Standing there at the door, they both hugged each other and cried together. This set the tone for our visit. We didn’t know that the sister had received chemotherapy the day before. She felt too weak to care for her adult son. So I helped the stake president dress her son, and we put him in his wheelchair. We fed him the food that another sweet sister from the ward had brought earlier, and we helped with other tasks. Before we left their home, we were able to bless them.

All that was going through my mind during this visit was a confirmation that Jesus Christ loves them deeply. He understands them and personally knows the pain of their unique situation. Almost the entire visit happened in silence. On this occasion we did not give a big sermon or share our favorite scripture, but the Lord blessed us with His Spirit abundantly.

Gregorio E. Casillas

"God Loves All His Children", General Conference October 2024

fill our hearts with greater charity

As followers of Jesus Christ, we should lead the way as peacemakers. As charity becomes part of our nature, we will lose the impulse to demean others. We will stop judging others. We will have charity for those from all walks of life. Charity towards all men is essential to our progress. Charity is the foundation of a godly character.

Let us plead with our Heavenly Father to fill our hearts with greater charity—especially for those who are difficult to love—for charity is a gift from our Heavenly Father for true followers of Jesus Christ. The Savior is the Prince of Peace. We are to be His instruments for peace.

Russell M. Nelson

"Confidence in the Presence of God", General Conference April 2025

confidence before God

When I speak of having confidence before God, I am referring to having confidence in approaching God right now! I am referring to praying with confidence that Heavenly Father hears us, that He understands our needs better than we do. I am referring to having confidence that He loves us more than we can comprehend, that He sends angels to be with us and with those we love. I am referring to having confidence that He yearns to help each of us reach our highest potential.

Now, how do we gain such confidence? The Lord answers this question with these words: “Let thy bowels … be full of charity towards all men, … and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God.”

There’s the key! In the Lord’s own words, charity and virtue open the way to having confidence before God! Brothers and sisters, we can do this! Our confidence can truly wax strong in the presence of God, right now!

Russell M. Nelson

"Confidence in the Presence of God", General Conference April 2025

more abundantly in your life

If you would like to feel the love of God more abundantly in your life, may I invite you to consider the following:

• First, pause frequently to remember that you are a child of God and think of the things you are grateful for.
• Second, pray daily, asking Heavenly Father to help you know who around you needs to feel His love.
• Third, ask sincerely what you can do to help that individual to feel the love of God.
• And fourth, act promptly on the inspiration you receive.

If we consistently pray and ask on the behalf of others, God will show us the people we can help. And if we act promptly, we can become the means through which He answers their prayers. By doing so, in time, we will receive answers to our prayers and we will feel God’s love in our own lives.

Benjamin M. Z. Tai

"The Love of God", General Conference April 2025

He is near us

If despite your best efforts life is overcast, if you feel that your prayers are not heard, or if you can’t feel God’s love, please know that your every effort matters and, as certain as the stars above us, that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know, hear, and love you.

On one occasion, when His disciples were in a boat being “tossed [by the] waves,” the Savior walked towards them on the water and assured them, saying, “Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.” When Peter wanted to walk to the Savior on the water, Jesus beckoned to him, saying, “Come.” And when Peter lost his focus and began to sink, the Savior immediately reached out His hand to catch him and led him to safety while saying, “O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?”

When the winds are against us in our lives, are we willing to be cheerful and courageous? How can we remember that the Savior does not forsake us and that He is near us, perhaps in ways we don’t yet recognize? Are we willing to go to Him in faith, especially when the path before us seems impossible? And in what ways does He lift us to safety when we flounder? How can we faithfully look unto Him in every thought, without doubt or fear?

Benjamin M. Z. Tai

"The Love of God", General Conference April 2025

we feel God’s love

While the love of God is accessible to all, many search earnestly for it, while others desire to feel God’s love but do not believe that they deserve it. Some others are desperately trying to hang on to it. The scriptures and the Lord’s prophet teach us that we can consistently experience God’s love when, through the grace of Jesus Christ, we repeatedly repent, frankly forgive, strive to keep His commandments, and selflessly serve others. We feel God’s love when we do things that draw us closer to Him, such as conversing with Him daily through prayer and scripture study, and stop doing things that distance us from Him, such as being prideful, contentious, and rebellious.

Benjamin M. Z. Tai

"The Love of God", General Conference April 2025

I truly am a son of God

Since finding my faith in my mid-20s, I have awakened to the realisation that I truly am a son of God. The more fully I internalise this gift, the more keenly I know who I am and how completely I am loved. Some things that have helped me grow in understanding are the words of scripture, my patriarchal blessing, temple worship, serving others, expressing gratitude, and sacred prayer with my Father. I marvel at how earlier sorrow, pain, and grief in my life would have been reframed, soothed, and much of it overcome had I known this beautiful truth.

Patrick Kearon

"Receive His Gift," General Conference April 2025

please accept the gift

I invite you to receive, either for the first time or to a greater extent than ever before, the magnificent realisation that you truly are God’s beloved child. You must undo the bow, tear off the wrapping paper, open the box, and actively receive with grateful humility a true, pure understanding of this foundational truth. The Holy Spirit can bear witness to your heart that you are indeed a child of the Most High.

When you welcome this majestic reality into your very soul and feel both the comfort and the thrill of it, your entire paradigm shifts! You can feel His love, hear His voice, and recognise His hand, no matter what is happening, or not happening, in your life. You can redefine how you see yourself and others. Your covenant bond with your Saviour becomes even stronger, and through the lens of this sweet gift, life takes on new brilliance, beauty, and hope.

Please, will you pray to understand if you are truly receiving this transformative knowledge deep in your soul? Will you please accept the gift? Will you do so more deeply, more freely, more abundantly than you ever have before—and in so doing be showered with all of those other gifts that come with it?

Patrick Kearon

"Receive His Gift," General Conference April 2025