Required, in particular, is meekness of mind which recognizes God’s perfect love of us and His omniscience. By acknowledging these reassuring realities and accepting that God desires our full development and true happiness, we are readied even as the learning experiences come. Such meekness requires genuine intellectual honesty, owning up to the learning experiences of the past and listening to the Holy Ghost as he preaches to us from the pulpit of memory.

As the Lord communicates with the meek and submissive, fewer decibels are required, and more nuances are received. Even the most meek, like Moses (see Num. 12:3), learn overwhelming things they “never had supposed.” (Moses 1:10.) But it is only the meek mind which can be so shown and so stretched—not those, as Isaiah wrote, who “are wise in their own eyes.” (Isa. 5:21; see also 2 Ne. 9:29 and 15:21.)

God’s counsel aligns us and conjoins us with the great realities of the universe; whereas sin empties, isolates, and separates us, confining us to the solitary cell of selfishness. Hence the lonely crowd in hell.

Spiritual submissiveness means, instead, community and communion as the mind and the heart become settled. We then spend much less time deciding, and much more time serving; otherwise, the more hesitation, the less inspiration.

Yielding one’s heart to God signals the last stage in our spiritual development. Only then are we beginning to be fully useful to God! How can we sincerely pray to be an instrument in His hands if the instrument seeks to do the instructing?

Neal A. Maxwell

“Willing to Submit”, General Conference April 1985

the spiritual poison of pride

How could a once-righteous people [the Nephites] become hardened and wicked in such a short period of time? How could people so quickly forget the God who had blessed them so abundantly?

In a powerful and profound way, the negative example of the Nephites is instructive for us today.

“Pride … began to enter … into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God … because of their exceedingly great riches and their prosperity in the land.”

“[They] set [their] hearts upon the riches and the vain things of this world” “because of that pride which [they] … suffered to enter [into their] hearts, which … lifted [them] up beyond that which is good because of [their] exceedingly great riches!”

Ancient voices from the dust plead with us today to learn this everlasting lesson: prosperity, possessions, and ease constitute a potent mixture that can lead even the righteous to drink the spiritual poison of pride.

Allowing pride to enter into our hearts can cause us to mock that which is sacred; disbelieve in the spirit of prophecy and revelation; trample under our feet the commandments of God; deny the word of God; cast out, mock, and revile against the prophets; and forget the Lord our God and “not desire that the Lord [our] God, who hath created [us], should rule and reign over [us].”

Therefore, if we are not faithful and obedient, we can transform the God-given blessing of prosperity into a prideful curse that diverts and distracts us from eternal truths and vital spiritual priorities. We always must be on guard against a pride-induced and exaggerated sense of self-importance, a misguided evaluation of our own self-sufficiency, and seeking self instead of serving others.

As we pridefully focus upon ourselves, we also are afflicted with spiritual blindness and miss much, most, or perhaps all that is occurring within and around us. We cannot look to and focus upon Jesus Christ as the “mark” if we only see ourselves.

David A. Bednar

"In the Space of Not Many Years" General Conference October 2024

lives filled with purpose and service

The words of our dear prophet still echo in my mind: “God wants us to work together and help each other. That is why He sends us to earth in families and organizes us into wards and stakes. That is why He asks us to serve and minister to each other. That is why He asks us to live in the world but not be of the world.”

When our lives are filled with purpose and service, we avoid spiritual apathy; on the other hand, when our lives are deprived of divine purpose, meaningful service to others, and sacred opportunities for pondering and reflection, we gradually become suffocated by our own activity and self-interest, risking losing our savor. The antidote to this is to continue to be involved in service—being anxiously engaged in good works and the betterment of ourselves and the society we live in.

José A. Teixeira

"Bonded to Jesus Christ: Becoming the Salt of the Earth", General Conference October 2024

more important than being authentic

While it is true that each of us travels an individualized discipleship journey on the covenant path, striving to keep our hearts and minds centered on Christ Jesus, we need to be careful and constantly vigilant to not be tempted to adopt this type of worldly philosophy in our life. Elder Quentin L. Cook said that “being sincerely Christlike is an even more important goal than being authentic.”

My dear friends, when we choose to let God be the most powerful influence in our life over our self-serving pursuits, we can make progress in our discipleship and increase our capacity to unite our mind and heart with the Savior. On the other hand, when we don’t allow God’s way to prevail in our life, we are left to ourselves, and without the Lord’s inspiring guidance, we can justify almost anything we do or don’t do. We can also make excuses for ourselves by doing things our own way, saying in effect, “I am just doing things my way.”

Ulisses Soares

"Aligning Our Will with His", General Conference October 2024

fail to get outside ourselves

[W]e [often] fail to get outside ourselves. We are so busy checking on our own temperatures, we do not notice the burning fevers of others even when we can offer them some of the needed remedies, such as encouragement, kindness, and commendation. The hands which hang down and most need to be lifted up belong to those too discouraged even to reach out anymore.

Neal A. Maxwell

“Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father”, General Conference October 1995

swallowed up in the will of God

So many of us are kept from eventual consecration because we mistakenly think that, somehow, by letting our will be swallowed up in the will of God, we lose our individuality (see Mosiah 15:7). What we are really worried about, of course, is not giving up self, but selfish things—like our roles, our time, our preeminence, and our possessions. No wonder we are instructed by the Savior to lose ourselves (see Luke 9:24). He is only asking us to lose the old self in order to find the new self. It is not a question of one’s losing identity but of finding his true identity! Ironically, so many people already lose themselves anyway in their consuming hobbies and preoccupations but with far, far lesser things.

Neal A. Maxwell

“Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father”, General Conference October 1995

thy will be done

If you want to receive the companionship of the Holy Ghost, you must want it for the right reasons. Your purposes must be the Lord’s purposes. If your motives are too selfish, you will find it difficult to receive and sense the promptings of the Spirit.

The key for me and for you is to want what the Savior wants. Our motives need to be driven by the pure love of Christ. Our prayers need to be “All I want is what you want. Thy will be done.”

Henry B. Eyring

"Our Constant Companion" General Conference October 2023

so much of life's curriculum

So much of life's curriculum, therefore, consists of efforts by the Lord to get and keep our attention. Ironically, the stimuli He uses are often that which is seen by us as something to endure. Sometimes what we are actually being asked to endure is His "help": help to draw us away from the cares of the world: help to draw us away from self-centeredness; attention-getting help when we have ignored the still, small voice; help in the shaping of our souls; and help to keep promises we made so long ago. In some instances the stimuli can be severe and sharp: "And thus we see that except the Lord doth chasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with death and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not remember him" (Helaman 12:3).

Neal A. Maxwell

Not My Will, but Thine by Neal A. Maxwell. 2008. Deseret Book. p. 128

forget yourself and go to work

I was not well when I arrived. Those first few weeks, because of illness and the opposition which we felt, I was discouraged. I wrote a letter home to my good father and said that I felt I was wasting my time and his money. He was my father and my stake president, and he was a wise and inspired man. He wrote a very short letter to me which said, “Dear Gordon, I have your recent letter. I have only one suggestion: forget yourself and go to work.” Earlier that morning in our scripture class my companion and I had read these words of the Lord: “Whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.” (Mark 8:35.)

Those words of the Master, followed by my father’s letter with his counsel to forget myself and go to work, went into my very being. With my father’s letter in hand, I went into our bedroom in the house at 15 Wadham Road, where we lived, and got on my knees and made a pledge with the Lord. I covenanted that I would try to forget myself and lose myself in His service.

Gordon B. Hinckley

"Taking the Gospel to Britain: A Declaration of Vision, Faith, Courage, and Truth," by Gordon B. Hinckley. Ensign. July 1987. Adapted from a talk given at a BYU symposium on the 150th anniversary of the opening of the British Mission. As quoted in Not My Will, but Thine by Neal A. Maxwell. 2008. Deseret Book. p. 117, 118

our only valid spiritual competition

When we are struggling to learn to love, we can have faith in God's developmental plans for others as well as for ourselves. Then we do not feel threatened by those who are our superiors or who are becoming such. The more unselfish we are, the more able we are to find joy in their successes, all the while rejoicing without comparing. In any case, our only valid spiritual competition is with our old selves, not with each other. True love and friendship enable us to keep that perspective. The things about other people that truly matter are their qualities such as love, mercy, justice, and patience, and their service to others. The things that matter much less - style, appearance, and mannerisms - become comparatively unimportant. Finally, our capacity to be meek and lowly enough to love without requiring reciprocity is enhanced by our coming to know how much we are loved by Jesus, even when we do not return His love as we might.

Neal A. Maxwell

Not My Will, but Thine by Neal A. Maxwell. 2008. Deseret Book. p. 76

he depersonalizes life

The hardhearted person never truly love. He engages in a crass utilitarianism that values other people mainly according to their usefulness to him. He never experiences the beauty of friendship, because he is too cold to feel affection for another and is too self-centered to share another's joy and sorrow. He is an isolated island. No outpouring of love links him with the mainland of humanity. 

The hardhearted person lacks the capacity for genuine compassion. He is unmoved by the pains and afflictions of his brothers. He passes unfortunate men every day, but he never really sees them. He gives dollars to a worthwhile charity, but he gives not of his spirit.

The hardhearted individual neve sees people as people, but rather as mere objects or as impersonal cogs in an ever-turning wheel. In the vast wheel of industry, he sees men as hands. In the massive wheel of big city life, he sees men as digits in a multitude. In the deadly wheel of army life, he sees men as numbers in a regiment. He depersonalizes life.  

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Strength to Love by Martin Luther King, Jr. Harper & Row. 1963. Fortress Press Gift Edition 2010. p. 6

Jesus: The Perfect Leader - Selfless leadership

The Savior’s leadership was selfless. He put himself and his own needs second and ministered to others beyond the call of duty, tirelessly, lovingly, effectively. So many of the problems in the world today spring from selfishness and self-centeredness in which too many make harsh demands of life and others in order to meet their demands. This is a direct reversal of the principles and practices pursued so perfectly by that perfect example of leadership, Jesus of Nazareth. 

Jesus’ leadership emphasized the importance of being discerning with regard to others, without seeking to control them. He cared about the freedom of his followers to choose. Even he, in those moments that mattered so much, had to choose voluntarily to go through Gethsemane and to hang on the cross at Calvary. He taught us that there can be no growth without real freedom. One of the problems with manipulative leadership is that it does not spring from a love of others but from a need to use them. Such leaders focus on their own needs and desires and not on the needs of others.

Jesus had perspective about problems and people. He was able to calculate carefully at long range the effect and impact of utterances, not only on those who were to hear them at the moment, but on those who would read them 2,000 years later. So often, secular leaders rush in to solve problems by seeking to stop the present pain, and thereby create even greater difficulty and pain later on.

  

  

Jesus: The Perfect Leader By President Spencer W. Kimball. From an address delivered to the Young Presidents organization, Sun Valley, Idaho, 15 January 1977. Ensign. August 1979.

gathers them into wholeness

It is occasionally said that man is naturally self-interested. But most men do not pursue their own interest. Instead they follow illusions, momentary desires, mutually conflicting wants. They are directed by whim rather than purpose and seek pleasure tather than perfection. The paradox is that man never gains control over his own mind and will until he surrenders them to something higher than himself. The beginning of true self-interest is self-forgetfulness, and the source of real freedom is humility before another. Only the disciple can learn discipline. Jesus has many admirers but few disciples. And yet the Father sent his Son to call all men to follow him. Christ’s life alone can give to man the higher pattern that he needs. Reaching all the scattered aspects of man’s being, Christ gathers them into wholeness.

The Lord’s Question: Thoughts on the Life of Response by Dennis Rasmussen. Brigham Young University Press. April 1985. Chapter Two, “Do Not I Fill Heaven and Earth?” p.21

the giving and receiving of... communications

There are some important ground rules for us all that pertain to the giving and receiving of... communications:

1. We should not give advice or be candid merely to punish or to meet our own ego needs. Rather, we must do as Paul says: speak "the truth in love." (Ephesians 4:15.) And even when we must give reproof, we should, as Paul also suggested, confirm our love lest the other individual "be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow." (2 Corinthians 2:7-8.) In the Doctrine and Covenants, we are asked to show forth an increase of love"—not the same level of love, but a visible "increase"! (D&C 121:40-44.)

In general conference in April 1962, President David O. McKay observed of the phrase about giving reproof—"when moved upon by the Holy Ghost"—that this "limiting clause" is very significant. Reproof, he said, should not be given because of "selfishness, not because of any personal antipathy, not because of personality." He then described verse 43 of this section of the Doctrine and Covenants as being without parallel "in governing people." (Conference Report, April 1962, p. 93.)

2. We need to take into account our own capacity and that of the others involved to manage the consequences of candor, counsel, and correction.

3. We should consider the appropriateness of the setting, as well as the appropriateness of what is said.

4. The correction or counsel given should bear reasonable relationship to the importance of the issue, lest there be "over-kill."

5. Corrective counsel is facilitated when there is shared expectation that it will be given.

6. Ongoing counsel has the advantage of allowing for course corrections without being so ultimate and final. (Note Jesus' relationship with Peter—how the Master's love was felt by Peter and how Peter grew with the mix of constant love and occasional reproof.)

7. If we truly care about giving counsel and correction, in addition to taking the time to ponder beforehand the content and substance, we will make certain that our voice tone, bodily posture, and facial expression "are all enlisted," so that the moment draws the best out of us, in order to have the best chance of completing the communication circuit.

8. Timing is often as crucial as content.

9. A pattern of commendation can blunt the tendency some of us have to give too much corrective commentary. Regrettably we sometimes see an individual get classified, and no matter how well he or she does thereafter, it is difficult to get reclassified. It is sometimes like the chicken whose comb gets bloodied; all the chickens then peck at it, making the situation even worse. These "walking wounded" are all about us, and they need someone else to help them bind up—not add to—their wounds.



Neal A. Maxwell, All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience. Deseret Book, 1979.

whosoever will save his life shall lose it

The Savior taught His disciples, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.”


I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives.

 
Thomas S. Monson, "What Have I Done for Someone Today?" General Conference, October 2009

impatience is...

Impatience, on the other hand, is a symptom of selfishness. It is a trait of the self-absorbed. It arises from the all-too-prevalent condition called “center of the universe” syndrome, which leads people to believe that the world revolves around them and that all others are just supporting cast in the grand theater of mortality in which only they have the starring role.



Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Continue in Patience", Ensign, May 2010, 56–59

anything but godly

Why is lust such a deadly sin? Well, in addition to the completely Spirit-destroying impact it has upon our souls, I think it is a sin because it defiles the highest and holiest relationship God gives us in mortality—the love that a man and a woman have for each other and the desire that couple has to bring children into a family intended to be forever. Someone said once that true love must include the idea of permanence. True love endures. But lust changes as quickly as it can turn a pornographic page or glance at yet another potential object for gratification walking by, male or female. True love we are absolutely giddy about—as I am about Sister Holland; we shout it from the housetops. But lust is characterized by shame and stealth and is almost pathologically clandestine—the later and darker the hour the better, with a double-bolted door just in case. Love makes us instinctively reach out to God and other people. Lust, on the other hand, is anything but godly and celebrates self-indulgence. Love comes with open hands and open heart; lust comes with only an open appetite.


Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "Place No More for the Enemy of My Soul." General Conference, April 2010

a partnership with the Lord

In our pre-existent state, in the day of the great council, we made a certain agreement with the Almighty. The Lord proposed a plan, conceived by him. We accepted it. Since the plan is intended for all men, we become parties to the salvation of every person under that plan. We agreed, right then and there, to be not only saviors for ourselves, but measurably saviors for the whole human family. We went into a partnership with the Lord.

The working out of the plan became then not merely the Father's work, and the Savior's work, but also our work. The least of us, the humblest, is in partnership with the Almighty in achieving the purpose of the eternal plan of salvation. That places us in a very responsible attitude towards the human race. By the doctrine, with the Lord at the head, we become saviors on Mount Zion, all committed to the great plan of offering salvation to the untold numbers of spirits. To do this is the Lord's self-imposed duty, this great labor his highest glory. Likewise, it is man's duty, self-imposed, his pleasure and joy, his labor, and ultimately his glory.

There is no place for forgetting the other man in the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. There stands my brother; it was for him that the whole plan was made, for him the Church was organized, for him all these blessings were given—not for me alone. Oh, I stand there, too. The Church was made for me, the gospel was given for me, all the blessings were given for me; but my brother is entitled to them just as much as I am. He and I together and all of us must unitedly work together to fulfill the great purposes of the Almighty Father.

Under the Gospel, what is man’s highest ideals? Under the Gospel it must be to become like the Father. [D&C 76:54-60, 132:24; Moses 1:29.] If the Lord’s concern is chiefly to bring happiness and joy, salvation to the whole human family, we cannot become like the Father unless we too engage in that work. There is no chance for the narrow, selfish, introspective man in the kingdom of God. He may survive in the world of men; he may win fame, fortune and power before men, but he will not stand high before the Lord unless he learns to do the works of God, which always point toward the salvation of the whole human family. [D&C 15:6, 18:10-16, 128:5,15-18.]



John A. Widtsoe, Utah Genealogical and Historical Magazine, October 1934, p.289 [see History of the Church 6:59-61.], Latter-day Prophets and the Doctrine & Covenants, Volume 1 compiled by Roy W. Doxey. Deseret Book. 1964. p.21,22

selfishness is...

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.


Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism, in Fortnightly Review (London, Feb. 1891; repr. 1895).

Viva yo. This phrase will not be found in dictionaries. Some time ago there was a competition for the cartoon which best expressed the Spanish character, and the winner, without a close second, was on showing an arrogant little boy urinating in the middle of the street and spelling out the words 'Viva yo,' which could be translated as 'Hurray for me,' except that the guts of the phrase is the implied second half, 'and to hell with everyone else.' A comprehension of the Spaniard's addiction to Viva yo will help anyone trying to make his way in Spain. When the little car barrels right down the middle of the highway, forcing everyone else into the ditch, you don't swear at the driver. You say 'Viva yo' and you understand what happened and why. When you pay seven dollars for a seat at the bullfight and find it occupied by a man who will not move, you don't punch him. You say 'Viva yo' and steal someone elsess seat.


James A. Michener, Iberia. 1968. Random House. 74