they’ll begin to wonder

The old adage “no news is good news” doesn’t cut it in a business environment. In the absence of feedback most of us will fill in the blanks and create stories as to how we are perceived, and whether we are valued. 

Unfortunately these stories tend to assume the worst, to be the bad news, and your employees will be looking for examples of your behavior that support their story – the case for the prosecution.

“He didn’t say ‘hello’ this morning – I knew he didn’t like me”

“She asked everyone else for their input into this project except me – She doesn’t value my opinion”

If you are of the opinion that others should act like grown-ups and recognize that if there’s a problem, then they can be sure that someone above them will let them know. That’s not leadership. That’s abdication.

Part of your responsibility as a leader is to let people know when they’re doing their jobs well. Sharing the good news and not just the bad news on a consistent basis. If you don’t tell them, then they’ll begin to wonder if they are. If they’re wondering, then it means that they’re not focusing on doing what’s right.

Morag Barrett

6 steps to great leadership. CIO. 8/10/2015

Jamming of the channels of communication

Pornography “creates a disconnection from God, from spouse and even from self-identity,” President (Emily Belle) Freeman, (Young Women general president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) said, referencing President Boyd K. Packer’s teaching as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles that a “trend to more noise” was “not coincidental nor innocent.” 

“The first ordered issued by a commander mounting a military invasion,” President Packer said, “is the jamming of the channels of communication of those he intends to conquer.”

Jacob Hess

President Freeman calls pornography ‘the plague of our time’ during Utah Coalition Against Pornography gathering” Deseret News. March 16, 2026

be brief, be brilliant, be gone

“Be brief, be brilliant, be gone,” is oft-quoted and less frequently followed. The quote is often attributable to President Woodrow Wilson; however, several other luminaries have spoken to the theme. Here are a few of my favorites:

• “Be sincere; be brief; be seated.” Franklin D. Roosevelt.
• “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” Winston Churchill
• “Grasp the subject, the words will follow.” Cato The Elder
• “Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

All of these quotes sound the same theme: 1) be strategic in your communication – ask what is the goal to be achieved? 2) be intentional – once the goal is determined select the words that will allow you to achieve that goal; 3) be impactful – be economic with your word choice since less is more; and, 4) leave the listener with the impact you intended.

Diana Peterson-More

"“Be Brief, Be Brilliant, Be Gone:” Maximizing Communication." Diana Peterson-More Blog. December 11, 2019

listening for the good

Stephen: First I want to talk about—you have issued another beautiful book inspired by your late mother. It's called Just Shine!. One of the things I understand she says is, you don't know what's going on with someone else. You may disagree with them.

Justice Sotomayor: You have to ask them.

Stephen: Does that come in handy in your job?

Justice Sotomayor: A lot. But she showed me something else, which is you can't really judge people by their opinions because you may differ in them. You may not like what people do. One of my favorite stories—she had a friend who talked nonstop. How many of you have those kinds of friends? I bet a lot of you. They walk in, they never stop talking. My brother and I would scurry out of the room as fast as we could. My brother would probably go out to play basketball. I would go hide in my room and read. My mother would sit there and just listen.

One day after this woman had left, I looked at her and said, "How do you have that patience?" And she said, "Sonia, it can be frustrating moments, but I always remember that she really has such a wonderful heart. When I've been sick, she comes over and she's the first one to bring me food. If I am stuck not having a ride somewhere"—so she didn't drive at the time—"I call her up and she offers before I say anything. Not everybody does that."

She taught me to look for the best in people. That was the lesson that moment gave me, and it's one I look for in my colleagues, you know. I don't agree with them much—at least not with the majority—and they can be really frustrating. And there are moments when I want to scurry out of the room. But I don't. And what I look for to maintain our collegiality is the good in them. My mother was right—there is good in almost everyone. I say "almost everyone" because I was a prosecutor, and there are some evil people.

Sotomayor, Sonia. Interview by Stephen Colbert. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. YouTube, uploaded by The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, 10 Sept. 2025, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKSzq4keAx8. 

harder to bear than criticism

Even harder to bear than criticism, oftentimes, is no word from our leader on the work to which we have been assigned. Little comments or notes, which are sincere and specific, are great boosters along the way.

Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Ezra Taft Benson by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 2014. Chapter 19: Leadership. 371.

brevity is the soul of command

Brevity is the soul of command. Too much talking suggests desperation on the part of the leader. Speak shortly, decisively and to the point–and couch your desires in such natural logic that no one can raise objections. Then move on.

Cyrus the Great
9 Timeless Leadership Lessons from Cyrus the Great by Ryan Holiday. Forbes. 4/19/2012.

the leadership benefits of reading

Broad reading habits are often a defining characteristic of our greatest leaders and can catalyze insight, innovation, empathy, and personal effectiveness.

Note how many business titans are or have been avid readers. According to The New York Times, Steve Jobs had an "inexhaustible interest" in William Blake; Nike founder Phil Knight so reveres his library that in it you have to take off your shoes and bow; and Harman Industries founder Sidney Harman called poets "the original systems thinkers," quoting freely from Shakespeare and Tennyson. In Passion & Purpose, David Gergen notes that Carlyle Group founder David Rubenstein reads dozens of books each week. And history is littered not only with great leaders who were avid readers and writers (remember, Winston Churchill won his Nobel prize in Literature, not Peace), but with business leaders who believed that deep, broad reading cultivated in them the knowledge, habits, and talents to improve their organizations.

The leadership benefits of reading are wide-ranging. Evidence suggests reading can improve intelligence and lead to innovation and insight. Some studies have shown, for example, that reading makes you smarter through "a larger vocabulary and more world knowledge in addition to the abstract reasoning skills." Reading — whether Wikipedia, Michael Lewis, or Aristotle — is one of the quickest ways to acquire and assimilate new information. Many business people claim that reading across fields is good for creativity. And leaders who can sample insights in other fields, such as sociology, the physical sciences, economics, or psychology, and apply them to their organizations are more likely to innovate and prosper.

Reading can also make you more effective in leading others. Reading increases verbal intelligence, making a leader a more adept and articulate communicator. Reading novels can improve empathy and understanding of social cues, allowing a leader to better work with and understand others — traits that author Anne Kreamer persuasively linked to increased organizational effectiveness, and to pay raises and promotions for the leaders who possessed these qualities. And any business person understands that heightened emotional intelligence will improve his or her leadership and management ability.

Finally, an active literary life can make you more personally effective by keeping you relaxed and improving health. For stressed executives, reading is the best way to relax, as reading for six minutes can reduce stress by 68%, and some studies suggest reading may even fend off Alzheimer's, extending the longevity of the mind. 

John Coleman

For Those Who Want to Lead, Read. HBR Blog Network. Harvard Business Review. August 15, 2012

draw closer to Him

There are times we feel close to the Savior Jesus Christ. And yet, sometimes during our mortal trials, we feel some distance from Him and wish for an assurance that He knows what is in our hearts and loves us as individuals.

The Savior’s invitation includes the way to feel that assurance. Draw near Him by always remembering Him. Seek Him diligently through scripture study. Ask through heartfelt prayer to Heavenly Father to feel closer to His Beloved Son.

There is a simple way to think about it. It is what you would do if you were separated for a time from dear friends. You would find a way to communicate with them, you would cherish any message you received from them, and you would do all you could to help them.

The more that happened, the longer it lasted, the deeper the bond of affection would be strengthened, and you would feel yourself drawing ever nearer. If much time passed without the cherished communication and the opportunity to help one another, the bond would weaken.

Jesus Christ loves each of us. He offers that opportunity to draw closer to Him. As with a loving friend, you will do it in much the same way, by communicating through prayer to Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, listening for cherished guidance from the Holy Ghost, and then serving others for the Savior cheerfully. Soon you would feel that blessing of drawing nearer to Him.

Henry B. Eyring

“Draw Near unto Me”, General Conference April 2025

unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments

My research on moral psychology tells me that expectations among people are often based on an implicit social contract. That is, without actually verbalizing expectations about give-and-take in a relationship, people construct stories in their heads about legitimate expectations of each other. So, people in a relationship have a "deal" in which the specifics of the deal are never really talked about. It is hard for someone to live up to your expectations when they don't know what they are, but you still might see this failure as a violation of your social contract. For example, Mary Schaefer writes about how she listened to a friend's problems for years, even though it was very difficult, because she expected her friend to do the same for her when she wanted to talk about her problems. That did not happen, and the friendship ended.

Unspoken expectations are almost guaranteed to go unfulfilled. Talking openly about what you expect from other people might improve your chances of fulfillment, or so thinks Dawn Sinnott: "By learning to not expect people to know what I want and need, I’ve learned to be much clearer in my communication. I don’t expect my husband to know why I’m pouting; I try to tell him why I’m upset."

At the same time, it is unrealistic to think that merely communicating your expectations clearly is going to get people to behave the way you want them to... Children not conforming to parents' expectations seems to be a recurring theme... This points to a second kind of social contract, one based on authority rather than the mutual reciprocity in a friendship. Parents assume that their children should obey their expectations because adults have the authority to run a household.

"Well, isn't it reasonable for parents to expect certain standards of behavior from their children?" you might ask. As the father of four sons, I would agree that we should set standards for our children. Failure to do so would make you an irresponsible parent. But you should not expect that your children will follow those standards all the time. Did you follow your parents' expectations all the time? Has any child? Thinking that this will happen is unrealistic. The question is what to do when children do not follow the rules you have designed to help them keep safe, stay healthy, and grow into their potential. If you think that the answer is to get resentful and angry and to yell and threaten, you might want to consider other alternatives.

You may have noticed that several times in this post I have distinguished between realistic and unrealistic expectations. That distinction is so important that Steve Lynch writes, "The expression should actually be phrased as 'Unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments.'" Believing that an unverbalized expectation will bring you what you want is magical thinking and is unrealistic. Expecting that doing what in the past has reliably brought about a result you want is realistic. Expecting others to do what is in your interest, but not their interest, is unrealistic. Expecting others to do what is in both of your interests can be realistic...

Let go of expectations and find something to be grateful about, even when things do not turn out the way you hoped, and you will experience serenity rather than resentment.

I do my thing and you do your thing.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,

And you are not in this world to live up to mine.

You are you, and I am I,

and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.

If not, it can't be helped.

—Fritz Perls, "Gestalt Therapy Verbatim," 1969

John A. Johnson Ph.D.

"The Psychology of Expectations: Why unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments." February 17, 2018. Psychology Today

we learn new languages of love together

New members say Church vocabulary often requires decoding. We chuckle at the thought that “stake house” could mean a nice beef dinner; “ward building” could indicate a hospital; “opening exercises” could invite us to do head, shoulders, knees, and toes in the church parking lot. But, please, let us be understanding and kind as we learn new languages of love together. New at church, a convert was told her skirts were too short. Instead of taking offense, she replied, in effect, “My heart is converted; please be patient as my skirts catch up.”

Gerrit W. Gong

"Love Is Spoken Here" General Conference October 2023

your leadership doesn’t matter

Leadership is about going somewhere. If you and your people don’t know where you are going, your leadership doesn’t matter. 

Ken Blanchard

Leading at a Higher Level: Blanchard on Leadership and Creating High Performing Organizations (Revised and Expanded Edition). FT Press, 2009. p.17

receptivity

Receptivity is the willingness to listen to and work with someone else to make an interaction productive. Think of receptivity as a line on a graph. As we engage in conversation, the other person’s line may move above or dip below a minimal level of receptivity. Sometimes, he is highly involved; sometimes, not at all. It can change from moment to moment. 

Effective communication depends on raising receptivity as high as possible. If we do nothing to budge low receptivity, we lose the lively interplay of ideas, insights, debate, and the weighing of options that characterize quality discussion.

If we can’t get that synergy going, we will be far less successful as leaders engaging in activities that depend on good communication, such as motivating, coaching, or training. So, it’s worthwhile to work on raising receptivity…

A good technique for creating interest is to actually answer their question, “What’s in it for me?” by making a benefit statement. Take the time at the beginning of a discussion and at other appropriate moments to state what the benefit will be for them to participate.

“Karen, I’m glad I caught you. I did an inventory check at the warehouse. I want to talk about it because I think we can solve your shortage problem.” The other person’s ears perk up. Something to solve my problem? I’m listening!

That’s fine if it’s good news. What if the topic is unpleasant? Keep finding the benefit. Suppose you are a team leader and must talk to a member who monopolizes discussions, and runs roughshod over the views of others? You might say “John, I’m concerned about the way you approach out team discussions. If everyone were allowed more of a chance to contribute, your ideas would be better received and have a greater chance of being adopted.” A positive outcome is stated up front as a reward for John’s willingness to work out the problem. That makes more sense than, “John, you’re being a loudmouth, and people are complaining about it. So, knock it off.” Receptivity will be a lot higher in the first conversation, even though the statement in the second may be just as accurate.

Ann Buzzotta, Larry Gross, and Les Muckerman (the research and development team of Psychological Associates)

Leadership Through People Skills® Workshop Prework – Article 2: Communication by. 

interacting with your boss

Interacting with your boss… requires you to know what your boss needs and expects…. It’s important enough to examine the problem in more detail:

Going along. Many direct reports figure it’s the boss’s responsibility to tell them what she needs and expects. It’s true, many bosses fail to do a good job of it. There are lots of reasons bosses don’t communicate – they can’t express, or haven’t the time, to discuss their needs; or they assume their employees already know their needs, etc. So, the direct reports go along in the dark.

Probing. The direct report also has a responsibility to dig for the information about his boss’s needs and expectations when the boss fails to volunteer them. This can be risky. However, the alternative of wasting time and effort not knowing and guessing at what the boss wants is worse. So, the answer to the dilemma is that the direct report is obligated to probe to get this important information.

Here are four questions to answer that will tell you about the boss’s needs and expectations:

1. What does the boss find difficult to do? Knowing this can be invaluable during an interaction, because it provides a strong clue as to where and when you should exert leadership, especially if what’s difficult for her is easy for you. For example, if she dislikes doing detailed long-range planning, but you are good at it, she will probably be happy for you to take the lead when your meeting gets into this subject.
2. In what form does the boss most easily grasp things? We all absorb certain kinds of information more readily than others. For instance, a boss who isn’t number-oriented may become bored by your reading off figures. In this case, you may make your presentation more effective by preparing several bar graphs or pie charts.
3. Does the boss prefer a statement of the problem or a recommended solution? Different bosses prefer to enter the problem-solving process at different points. Some want to be involved right from the start to help clarify the problem. Others want only to be involved in the solution.
4. Does the boss prefer hearing or reading about problems? Some bosses like to learn information face-to-face so they can ask questions on the spot. Others prefer to be alerted by memo or e-mail so they can mull over the situation before meeting on it.

R. Lefton, Victor R. Buzzotta

Leadership Through People Skills. McGraw Hill Professional, 2004.

the giving and receiving of... communications

There are some important ground rules for us all that pertain to the giving and receiving of... communications:

1. We should not give advice or be candid merely to punish or to meet our own ego needs. Rather, we must do as Paul says: speak "the truth in love." (Ephesians 4:15.) And even when we must give reproof, we should, as Paul also suggested, confirm our love lest the other individual "be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow." (2 Corinthians 2:7-8.) In the Doctrine and Covenants, we are asked to show forth an increase of love"—not the same level of love, but a visible "increase"! (D&C 121:40-44.)

In general conference in April 1962, President David O. McKay observed of the phrase about giving reproof—"when moved upon by the Holy Ghost"—that this "limiting clause" is very significant. Reproof, he said, should not be given because of "selfishness, not because of any personal antipathy, not because of personality." He then described verse 43 of this section of the Doctrine and Covenants as being without parallel "in governing people." (Conference Report, April 1962, p. 93.)

2. We need to take into account our own capacity and that of the others involved to manage the consequences of candor, counsel, and correction.

3. We should consider the appropriateness of the setting, as well as the appropriateness of what is said.

4. The correction or counsel given should bear reasonable relationship to the importance of the issue, lest there be "over-kill."

5. Corrective counsel is facilitated when there is shared expectation that it will be given.

6. Ongoing counsel has the advantage of allowing for course corrections without being so ultimate and final. (Note Jesus' relationship with Peter—how the Master's love was felt by Peter and how Peter grew with the mix of constant love and occasional reproof.)

7. If we truly care about giving counsel and correction, in addition to taking the time to ponder beforehand the content and substance, we will make certain that our voice tone, bodily posture, and facial expression "are all enlisted," so that the moment draws the best out of us, in order to have the best chance of completing the communication circuit.

8. Timing is often as crucial as content.

9. A pattern of commendation can blunt the tendency some of us have to give too much corrective commentary. Regrettably we sometimes see an individual get classified, and no matter how well he or she does thereafter, it is difficult to get reclassified. It is sometimes like the chicken whose comb gets bloodied; all the chickens then peck at it, making the situation even worse. These "walking wounded" are all about us, and they need someone else to help them bind up—not add to—their wounds.



Neal A. Maxwell, All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience. Deseret Book, 1979.

help us in the most important judgments of our lives

We are given the gift of the Holy Ghost after our baptism, but often we leave this gift on the shelf, forgetting that He will help us in the most important judgments of our lives. The Lord gave us this gift, knowing we would face difficult decisions in life. Listening to this voice is vital in developing good judgment. A relationship of listening often requires a quiet environment in which we can take time to ponder and hear the still, small voice. This peaceful environment is both external and internal. Therefore, it is more than shutting off the music of the world or the blare of other media; it is also shutting off the noise of sin that is internal to our soul. This will open the communication with the Spirit, which is so badly needed.

Christ said: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” The peace that comes from listening to the Holy Spirit removes the fear of making a poor judgment in life.



Gregory A. Schwitzer, "Developing Good Judgment and Not Judging Others." General Conference, April 2010

i do not always do what i am told

I decided that I was going to find out who killed Wellington even though Father had told me to stay out of other people’s business.

This is because I do not always do what I am told.

And this is because when people tell you what to do it is usually confusing and does not make sense.

For example, people often say “Be quiet,” but they don’t tell you how long to be quiet for. Or you see a sign which says KEEP OFF THE GRASS but it should say KEEP OFF THE GRASS AROUND THIS SIGN or KEEP OFF ALL THE GRASS IN THIS PARK because there is lots of grass you are allowed to walk on.


The curious incident of the dog in the night-time by Mark Haddon. Random House. 2003. Chapter 59.

i find people confusing

I find people confusing… The… main reason is that people do a lot of talking without using any words. Siobhan says that if you raise one eyebrow it can mean lots of different things. It can mean “I want to do sex with you” and it can also mean “I think that what you just said was very stupid.”

Siobhan also says that if you close your mouth and breathe out loudly through your nose, it can mean that you are relaxed, or that you are bored, or that you are angry, and it all depends on how much air comes out of your nose and how fast and what shape your mouth is when you do it and how you are sitting and what you said just before and hundreds of other things which are too complicated to work out in a few seconds.


The curious incident of the dog in the night-time by Mark Haddon. Random House. 2003. Chapter 29.