what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?

Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman).

Loneliness is the awareness of being incomplete because you lack the other who is supposed to make you whole. The desire for the other is always desire for wholeness. Love is the encounter of two wholes. If it is a lie that attracts us to another person, it is because we do not yet recognize that the other is a lie. The fantasy lover is always perfect. The real person is imperfect, and their imperfections, if we allow them to, interfere with our dreams. But this is not a tragedy, it is merely a cruel reminder of what we are. The heavy eyelids of despair prevent us from seeing clearly: the distinction between a dream and a lie. A dream is a fantasy, a lie is an intention. Perfection stinks of intention. Perfection is unattainable, which means it is a lie. But it is a lie that makes us slaves. It makes us dependent on the person who embodies the lie. It makes us weak.

And when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. What do you call it, freedom or loneliness? But it is not so simple. Once you are free, you struggle to keep from becoming a slave again. And the weight of slavery is heavier than the weight of freedom. To be free means to be responsible, without excuses and without help from others. It is to walk naked and vulnerable, without the protective cloaks of pride or power. It is to stand in the wind and embrace the sun, without the protection of your shadow. To be free is to accept the responsibility of your own destiny, and with it the realization that you can never be perfect, only whole.

Milan Kundera

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1984), Part Three, Chapter One

break free of our old selves

As we really begin to keep the first commandment—loving God with “all thy heart, with all thy might, mind, and strength” (D&C 59:5; see also Matt. 22:37)—giving time, talent, and treasure is then accompanied by fully giving of ourselves.

Sometimes, our holding back occurs because we lack faith or we are too entangled with the cares of the world. Other times, there is in us an understandable tremulousness which slows our yielding, because we sense what further yielding might bring.

Yet we need to break free of our old selves—the provincial, constraining, and complaining selves—and become susceptible to the shaping of the Lord. But the old self goes neither gladly nor quickly. Even so, this subjection to God is really emancipation.

Neal A. Maxwell

“Willing to Submit”, General Conference April 1985

what is it in ourselves that we should prize?

What is it in ourselves that we should prize?

Not just transpiration (even plants do that).

Or respiration (even beasts and wild animals breathe).

Or being struck by passing thoughts.

Or jerked like a puppet by your own impulses.

Or moving in herds.

Or eating, and relieving yourself afterwards.

Then what is to be prized?

An audience clapping? No. No more than the clacking of their tongues. Which is all that public praise amounts to – a clacking of tongues.

So we throw out other people’s recognition. What’s left for us to prize?

I think it’s this: to do (and not to do) what we were designed for. That’s the goal of all trades, all arts, and what each of them aims at: that the thing they create should do what it was designed to do. The nurseryman who cares for the vines, the horse trainer, the dog breeder – this is what they aim at. And teaching and education – what else are they trying to accomplish?

So that’s what we should prize. Hold on to that, and you won’t be tempted to aim at anything else.

And if you can’t stop prizing a lot of other things? Then you’ll never be free – free, independent, imperturbable. Because you’ll always be envious and jealous, afraid that people might come and take it all away from you. Plotting against those who have them- those things you prize. People who need those things are bound to be a mess – and bound to take out their frustrations on the gods. Whereas to respect your own mind – to prize it – will leave you satisfied with your own self, well integrated into your community and in tune with the gods as well – embracing what they allot you, and what they ordain. 

Marcus Aurelius

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Modern Library. 2003. P.72, Book 6, #16. Also see The Internet Classics Archive | The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (mit.edu)

a double victory

To our most bitter opponents we say: "We shall match your capacity to inflict suffering by our capacity to endure suffering. We shall meet your physical force with soul force Do to us what you will, and we shall continue to love you. We cannot in all good conscience obey your unjust laws, because noncooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good. Throw us in jail, and we shall still love you Send your hooded perpetrators of violence into our community at the midnight hour and beat us and leave us half dead, and we shall still love you. But be ye assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer. One day we shall win freedom, but not only for ourselves. We shall so appeal to your heart and conscience that we shall win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory." 

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Strength to Love by Martin Luther King, Jr. Harper & Row. 1963. Fortress Press Gift Edition 2010. p. 50, 51

freedom consists

One hundred thirty years ago, President Abraham Lincoln asked whether a nation "conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal" could "long endure". President Lincoln’s question is no less a question for the present generation of Americans. Democracy cannot be sustained without a shared commitment to certain moral truths about the human person and human community. The basic question before a democratic society is: "how ought we to live together?" In seeking an answer to this question, can society exclude moral truth and moral reasoning? Can the Biblical wisdom which played such a formative part in the very founding of your country be excluded from that debate?

Would not doing so mean that America’s founding documents no longer have any defining content, but are only the formal dressing of changing opinion? Would not doing so mean that tens of millions of Americans could no longer offer the contribution of their deepest convictions to the formation of public policy? Surely it is important for America that the moral truths which make freedom possible should be passed on to each new generation. Every generation of Americans needs to know that freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.

His Holiness John Paul II

Apostolic Journey to the United States of America. Eucharistic Celebration. Homily of His Holiness John Paul II. Oriole Park at Camden Yards, Baltimore. Sunday, 8 October 1995

the furious proceedings of the people

On our return, we resumed the subject of the massacre at Carthage, in which it will be remembered, Mr. John Taylor was severely wounded and escaped by a miracle as it were. I told him openly that there must have been some cause for the furious proceedings of the people in Illinois, Missouri, and other places against the Latter-Day Saints; that even those who had extended hospitality to them ended by hating and expelling them, and accusing them of all possible iniquities, especially of horse-thieving, forgery, larceny, and offences against property which on the border are never pardoned - was this smoke quite without fire? He heard me courteously and in perfect temper, replied that no one claimed immaculateness for the Mormons; that the net cast into the sea brought forth evil as well as good fish, and that the Prophet was one of the laborers sent into the vineyard at the eleventh hour. At the same time that when the New Faith was stoutly struggling into existence, it was the object of detraction, odium, persecution - so, said Mr. Taylor, were the Christians in the days of Nero - that the border ruffians, forgers, horse thieves, and other vile fellows followed the Mormons wherever they went; and finally that every fraud and crime was charged upon those whom the populace were disposed by desire for confiscation's sake to believe guilty. Besides the theologic odium there was also the political: the Saints would vote for their favorite candidates, consequently they were never without enemies. He quoted the Mormon rules: - 1. Worship what you like. 2. Leave your neighbor alone. 3. Vote for whom you please; and compared their troubles tot he Western, or, as it is popularly called the Whiskey insurrection in 1794, whose "dreadful night" is still remembered in Pennsylvania. Mr. Taylor remarked that the Saints had been treated by the United States as the colonies had been treated by the Crown.... I heard for the first time this view of the question, and subsequently obtained from the Apostle a manuscript account, written in extenso, of his experience and his sufferings. 

Richard F. Burton

Witness to the Martyrdom: John Taylor's Personal Account of the Last Days of the Prophet Joseph Smith. Edited by Mark H. Taylor. Deseret Book. 1999. p.14,15

Jesus: The Perfect Leader - Selfless leadership

The Savior’s leadership was selfless. He put himself and his own needs second and ministered to others beyond the call of duty, tirelessly, lovingly, effectively. So many of the problems in the world today spring from selfishness and self-centeredness in which too many make harsh demands of life and others in order to meet their demands. This is a direct reversal of the principles and practices pursued so perfectly by that perfect example of leadership, Jesus of Nazareth. 

Jesus’ leadership emphasized the importance of being discerning with regard to others, without seeking to control them. He cared about the freedom of his followers to choose. Even he, in those moments that mattered so much, had to choose voluntarily to go through Gethsemane and to hang on the cross at Calvary. He taught us that there can be no growth without real freedom. One of the problems with manipulative leadership is that it does not spring from a love of others but from a need to use them. Such leaders focus on their own needs and desires and not on the needs of others.

Jesus had perspective about problems and people. He was able to calculate carefully at long range the effect and impact of utterances, not only on those who were to hear them at the moment, but on those who would read them 2,000 years later. So often, secular leaders rush in to solve problems by seeking to stop the present pain, and thereby create even greater difficulty and pain later on.

  

  

Jesus: The Perfect Leader By President Spencer W. Kimball. From an address delivered to the Young Presidents organization, Sun Valley, Idaho, 15 January 1977. Ensign. August 1979.

he will not compel man to learn

God is man’s teacher. He seeks to develop goodness, wisdom, charity. He has placed upon himself one limitation: he will not compel man to learn. Man must reach out to receive all that God has to give. Even more, man must reach out to find it. All learning depends finally on the learner. I have always learned best what I wanted to learn; I have learned best when I was ready and eager to learn.



The Lord’s Question: Thoughts on the Life of Response by Dennis Rasmussen. Brigham Young University Press. April 1985. Chapter Seven, “Wherein Have I Wearied Thee?” p.71

trade my freedom for bondage

I would trade my faith for certainty and my hope for proof. But then I would also trade my freedom for bondage.

The Lord’s Question: Thoughts on the Life of Response by Dennis Rasmussen. Brigham Young University Press. April 1985. Chapter One, “Where Art Thou?” p.10

the free response of love

Man’s response of obedience is the free response of love. 

The Lord’s Question: Thoughts on the Life of Response by Dennis Rasmussen. Brigham Young University Press. April 1985. Chapter One, “Where Art Thou?” p. 7

the origin and rise of government

Here then is the origin and rise of government; namely, a mode rendered necessary by the inability of moral virtue to govern the world; here too is the design and end of government, viz. freedom and security.


Common Sense by Thomas Paine, 1776.

independence means self-reliance

Independence means self-reliance. Independence cannot be real if a nation depends upon gifts and loans from another for its development. How can we depend upon foreign governments and companies for the major part of our development without giving to those governments and countries a great part of our freedom to act as we please? The truth is we cannot.


Julius Kambarage Nyerere (13 April 1922 – 14 October 1999) was a Tanzanian politician who served as the first President of Tanzania. The Fate of Africa: From the Hopes of Freedom to the Heart of Despair by Martin Meredith. PublicAffairs. 2005.

fervent prayer is key

If anyone who is addicted has a desire to overcome, then there is a way to spiritual freedom—a way to escape from bondage—a way that is proven. It begins with prayer—sincere, fervent, and constant communication with the Creator of our spirits and bodies, our Heavenly Father. It is the same principle in breaking a bad habit or repenting from sin of any kind. The formula for having our heart, our body, our mind, and our spirit transformed is found in the scriptures.
The prophet Mormon counseled us: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love … ; that ye may become the sons of God; … that we may be purified even as he is pure” (Moroni 7:48)...
 
To those who are dealing with an addiction personally or within your family, I repeat, fervent prayer is key to gaining the spiritual strength to find peace and overcome an addictive craving. Heavenly Father loves all of His children, so thank Him and express sincere faith in Him. Ask Him for the strength to overcome the addiction you are experiencing. Set aside all pride and turn your life and your heart to Him. Ask to be filled with the power of Christ’s pure love. You may have to do this many times, but I testify to you that your body, mind, and spirit can be transformed, cleansed, and made whole, and you will be freed. Jesus said, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life” (John 8:12).




M. Russell Ballard, "O That Cunning Plan of the Evil One," General Conference October 2010

freedom is indivisible

Freedom is indivisible; the chains on any one of my people were the chains on all of them, the chains on all of my people were the chains on me

Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela. Back Bay Books. 1995. p. 624

no singular revelation

I cannot pinpoint a moment when I became politicized, when I knew that I would spend my life in the liberation struggle. To be an African in South Africa means that one is politicized from the moment of one’s birth, whether one acknowledges it or not. An African child is born in an Africans Only hospital, taken home in an Africans Only bus, lives in an Africans Only area, and attends Africans Only schools, if he attends school at all.


When he grows up, he can hold Africans Only jobs, rent a house in Africans Only townships, ride Africans Only trains, and be stopped at any time of the day or night and be ordered to produce a pass, failing which he will be arrested and thrown in jail. His life is circumscribed by racist laws and regulations that cripple his growth, dim his potential, and stunt his life. This was the reality, and one could deal with it in a myriad of ways.

I had no epiphany, no singular revelation, no moment of truth, but a steady accumulation of a thousand slights, a thousand indignities, a thousand unremembered moments, produced in me an anger, a rebelliousness, a desire to fight the system that had imprisoned my people. There was no particular day on which I said, From henceforth I will devote myself to the liberation of my people; instead, I simply found myself doing so, and could not do otherwise.

 
Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela. Back Bay Books. 1995. p.95

the champion of free worship

[Joseph Smith] did not intend to force his religion on anyone. He thought of himself as the champion of free worship. Nauvoo's ordinance for religious freedom listed a dozen religions allowed to practice in the city. Josiah Quincy was surprised to hear Joseph invite a Methodist to preach from a Mormon pulpit. The socialist John Finch noted that “Joe Smith was in the practice of inviting strangers who visited Nauvoo, of every shade of politics and religion, to lecture to his people.” Joseph could honestly say that “it is one of the first principles of my life and one that I have cultivated from my childhood, having been taught it of my father, to allow every one the liberty of conscience.” He made it an article of faith to allow people to “worship how, where, or what they may.” He declared, “I am an advocate of unadulterated freedom.”


Joseph Smith: rough stone rolling By Richard L. Bushman. Random House, Inc., 2005. p. 522, 523

all men are created equal

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed...


Declaration of Independence by Thomas Jefferson as quoted in John Adams by David McCullough. Simon and Schuster, 2001. p.136

both imminent and inevitable

At least at the rhetorical level, the egalitarian principles on which the American revolutionaries had based their war for independence from Great Britain placed slavery on the permanent defensive and gave what seemed at the time a decisive advantage to the antislavery side of any debate. Jefferson's initial draft of the Declaration of Independence had included language that described the slave trade as the perverse plot of an evil English monarch designed to contaminate innocent colonists. Though the passage was deleted by the Continental Congress in the final draft, it nevertheless captured the nearly rhapsodic sense that the American Revolution was both a triumphant and transformative moment in world history, when all laws and human relationships dependent on coercion would be swept away forever. And however Utopian and excessive the natural rights section of the Declaration ("We hold these truths to be self-evident") might appear later on, in the crucible of the revolutionary moment it gave lyrical expression to a widespread belief that a general emancipation of slaves was both imminent and inevitable, the natural consequence and fitting capstone of a glorious liberation from medieval mores historically associated with the very British government that Americans were rejecting. If the Bible were a somewhat contradictory source when it came to the question of slavery, the Declaration of Independence, the secular version of American scripture, was an unambiguous tract for abolition.


Founding brothers: the revolutionary generation by Joseph J. Ellis. Vintage Books, 2000. p.88-89

In God is our trust

Oh, thus be it ever when free men shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Pow'r that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto, "In God is our trust"
And the Star-Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!


Francis Scott Key, The Star Spangled Banner, verse 4 as quoted in One Nation Under God: The History of Prayer in America by James P. Moore, Jr. Doubleday, 2005. p.90

a Declaration of Independence

Heaven hath decreed that tottering empire Britain to irretrievable ruin and thanks to God, since Providence hath so determined, America must raise an empire of permanent duration, supported upon the grand pillars of Truth, Freedom, and Religion, encouraged by the smiles of Justice and defended by her own patriotic sons…. Permit me then to recommend from the sincerity of my heart, ready at all times to bleed in my country’s cause, a Declaration of Independence, and call upon the world and the great God who governs it to witness the necessity, propriety and rectitude thereof.


Nathanael Green writing to Samuel Ward in 1776 by David G. McCullough. Simon & Schuster, 2005. p.68