see what they can do

Once a year, all Navy ships undergo a thorough assessment, in which outside inspectors validate the ship's readiness. The ship as a whole and the crew's abilities and proficiencies are rated in twenty-four categories, on a scale ranging from basic Level One to advanced Level Four. 

The purpose is to determine who much additional training the crew needs to be ready for combat. But if you assume that the higher a ship's level, the less time it would spend training at sea, you would be wrong. In fact, regardless of its readiness rating, every ship spends the next six months training at sea. 
Thus there was no incentive to reach Level Four, and in fact, no ship ever did. Level One was the required minimum, and that was usually considered good enough. 

Then Benfold came along.

Originally, my goal was to reach an overall rating of Level Two, but when I recognized the enormous potential of my crew, I raised the bar to Level Three, much to the chagrin of those who saw it as a quantum leap in their labor and my hubris. 

I must also admit that, in addition to my noble motive of making the ship as good as it could be, I wanted to blow my archrival out of the water. Their assessment was scheduled to begin the basic Level One. The CO had no idea that we were laying the groundwork to shake things up a little. In fact, we were about to rock his world.

Our first challenge was finding enough senior people to supervise the twenty-four areas of testing. My combat systems officer hit me with the unexpected news that we had only twenty qualified people who were not involved in other critical operations. 

Thinking fast, I said, "Fine - pick supervisors from the next group down. You don't always need a senior person in charge. It could be a young, third-class petty officer."

"That's never been done before," he said.

"See what they can do," I said. "The alternative is to do nothing, right? Let's assign senior people to the most demanding areas and work our way down to the junior ones. If we don't get Level Three in some categories, so what? We will get Level One or Two. We have nothing to lose."

As it turns out, the third- and second-class petty officers were so honored to be chosen that they worked hard enough for several of their teams to outshine those supervised by senior people. The search-and-seizure team was particularly impressive. We assigned it to one of the ship's most junior sailors because we suspected he had the ability to honcho it. The outside inspectors protested, saying they could not validate the work of an important team that wasn't headed by a commissioned officer. But I insisted, and the young sailor did such a fantastic job that the inspectors ate their words and placed us at Level Four in that category.

Breaking out of our stratified systems to trust the people who work for us, especially those at or near the low end of the hierarchy, was a useful, progressive change. It let us unleash people with talent and let them rise to levels that no one had expected, simply by challenging them: Make Benfold the readiest ship afloat. In that context, how could we not have done well?


D. Michael Abrashoff
It's Your Ship: Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by D. Michael Abrashoff. Grand Central Publishing. 2007. p.146-148

reason to stay in the box

"To begin with," Lou continued, "it helps to understand how we don't get out of the box."

He turned to the board and wrote: "What doesn't work in the box."

"To begin with," he said, turning back to me, "think about the things we try to do when we're in the box. For example, in the box, who do we think has the problem?"

"Others," I answered.

"That's right," he said, "so normally we spend a lot of energy in the box trying to change others. But does that work? Does that get us out of the box?"

"No."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Well, because that's the problem in the first place," I said. "I'm trying to change them because, in the box, I think they need to be changed. And that's the problem."

"But does that mean no one needs to be changed?" Lou asked. "Is everyone doing things just perfectly then? Is that what you're saying - that no one needs to improve?"

I felt a little stupid when he asked the question. Come on, Callum, I said to myself. Think! I wasn't being careful enough. "No, or course not. Everyone needs to improve."

"Well, then," he said, "Why not the other guy? What's wrong if I want him to improve?"

That was a good question. What is wrong with that? I asked myself. I thought that's what all this meant, but at that moment I wasn't so sure. "I'm not sure," I said.

"Well, think about it this way. While it's true that others may have problems they need to solve, are their problems the reason I'm in the box?"

"No," I said. "That's what you think in the box, but it's a misperception."

"Exactly," said Lou. "So even if I were successful and the person I tried to change actually changed, would that solve the problem of my being in the box?"

"No, I guess it wouldn't."

"That's right, it wouldn't - even if the other person actually did change."

"And it's even worse than that," Bud interjected. "Think about what we talked about yesterday regarding collusion: When I'm in the box and try to get others to change, do I invite them to change as I'd like?"

"No," I said. "You'll end up provoking just the opposite." 

"Exactly," Bud said. "My box ends up provoking more of the very thing I set out to change. So if I try to get out by changing others, I'll end up provoking others to give me reason to stay in the box."


Leadership and Self-deception: Getting Out of the Box by Arbinger Institute. Berrett-Koehler. 2002. p.129-130

a good story

The best arguments in the world won't change a person's mind. The only thing that can do that is a good story.

Richard Powers

The Overstory. W. W. Norton & Company, 2018, p. 336.

the aggregation of marginal gains

For more than a century, the national bicycle racing teams of Great Britain had been the laughingstock of the cycling world. Mired in mediocrity, British riders had managed only a handful of gold medals in 100 years of Olympic competitions and had been even more underwhelming in cycling’s marquee event, the three-week long Tour de France—where no British rider had prevailed in 110 years. So sorry was the plight of British riders that some bike manufacturers refused to even sell bikes to the Brits, fearing it would forever sully their hard-won reputations. And despite devoting enormous resources into cutting-edge technology and every newfangled training regimen, nothing worked.

Nothing, that is, until 2003, when a small, largely unnoticed change occurred that would forever alter the trajectory of British cycling... In 2003, Sir Dave Brailsford was hired. Unlike previous coaches who attempted dramatic, overnight turnarounds, Sir Brailsford instead committed to a strategy he referred to as “the aggregation of marginal gains.” This entailed implementing small improvements in everything. That meant constantly measuring key statistics and targeting specific weaknesses...

This broader, more holistic view avoids the trap of being myopically fixated on just the obvious problem or sin at hand. Said Brailsford, “The whole principle came from the idea that if you broke down everything you could think of that goes into riding a bike, and then improved it by 1 percent, you will get a significant increase when you put them all together.”

Michael A. Dunn

"One Percent Better," General Conference. October 2021. See also, "This Coach Improved Every Tiny Thing by 1 Percent and Here’s What Happened," by James Clear. 

delight ourselves in the Lord

When we delight ourselves in the Lord, He changes our heart to want what He wants for our lives.

Hannah Benson

"God Gives Us the Desires of Our Hearts, But Not the Idols We Ask For", crosswalk.com, accessed 9/19/2025. Bible Reading: “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your hearts.” - Psalm 37:4 (ESV)

born to change

“O youth of the noble birthright, carry on, carry on, carry on!” I testify that you are loved—and you are trusted—today, in 20 years, and forever. Don’t sell your birthright for a mess of pottage. Don’t trade everything for nothing. Don’t let the world change you when you were born to change the world. 

Bradley R. Wilcox

"O Youth of the Noble Birthright" General Conference October 2024

a courageous and a willing heart

It takes a courageous and a willing heart to pause and pursue an honest and meek introspection to acknowledge the presence of weaknesses of the flesh in our life that may impede our ability to submit ourselves to God, and ultimately decide to adopt His way rather than our own. The ultimate test of our discipleship is found in our willingness to give up and lose our old self and submit our heart and our whole soul to God so that His will becomes ours.

One of the most glorious moments of mortality occurs when we discover the joy that comes when doing always those things that “work for and please the Lord” and “what works for us” become one and the same! To decisively and unquestioningly make the Lord’s will our own requires majestic and heroic discipleship! At that sublime moment, we become consecrated to the Lord, and we totally yield our wills to Him. Such spiritual submissiveness, so to speak, is beautiful, powerful, and transformational.

Ulisses Soares

"Aligning Our Will with His", General Conference October 2024

spiritually whole

What might it mean to be spiritually whole?

We are whole in Jesus Christ when we exercise our agency to follow Him in faith, submit our hearts to Him so He can change them, keep His commandments, and enter a covenant relationship with Him, meekly enduring and learning from the challenges of this earthly estate until we return to His presence and are healed in every way. I can be whole while I wait for healing if I am wholehearted in my relationship with Him.

Faith in Jesus Christ begets hope. I find hope in striving to be whole—a wholeness born of faith in Jesus Christ. Faith in Him increases my hope for healing, and that hope reinforces my faith in Jesus Christ. It is a powerful cycle.

The Lord told Enos his faith had made him “whole.” Wholeness came as Enos pondered on the words of his prophet-father, Jacob, as he hungered to understand the opportunity for eternal life, as he cried unto God in mighty prayer. And in that state of desire and humility, the voice of the Lord came to him, announcing his sins were forgiven. And Enos asked the Lord, “How is it done?” And the Lord responded, “Because of thy faith in Christ, … thy faith hath made thee whole.”

Through our faith in Jesus Christ, we can seek to be spiritually whole while we wait and hope for physical and emotional healing.

Camille N. Johnson

"Spiritually Whole in Him", General Conference April 2025

not merely transactional; they are transformational

Our covenants are not merely transactional; they are transformational. (see 2 Cor. 5:17) Through my covenants I receive sanctifying, strengthening power of Jesus Christ, which allows me to become a new person, to forgive what seems unforgivable, to overcome the impossible. Intentionally remembering Jesus Christ always is powerful; it gives me added strength to “keep his commandments which he has given [me].” It helps me to be nicer, to smile for no reason, to be a peacemaker, to avoid conflict, to let God prevail in my life.

Joaquin E. Costa

"The Power of Jesus Christ in Our Lives Every Day," General Conference October 2023

cultivating gratitude

The following expectations can be happiness killers:

• Life should be fair – It is not. Not at all. Bad things happen to good people all the time for no reason. Expecting you will never have to deal with hardship or difficulties and that you won’t cope when they come is denying the human experience.
• Everyone should like me – They won’t and don’t. Just as you don’t like everyone you know. Instead focus on earning the trust and respect of people you like.
• People should agree with me – Yours may not be the only right answer and being right is not always right. We tend to take others words and behaviour personally when often, it is about them not us. We expect them to think and act just like us and if they don’t, we feel hurt or angry.
• People understand what I am saying – Assumptions, like expectations, can be Happiness Killers. People won’t understand us just because we are talking. Genuinely listening to someone else with empathy creates understanding whilst projecting our own mental filters and world views onto others generates misunderstanding and hurt feelings.
• I must always do well – ‘If I do not attain these goals, if I fail to live up to my expectations, I am a miserable failure and deserve the worst’. This kind of thinking is the basis of self-denigration, self-hatred and compromised self-esteem. You are already enough and are intrinsically worthy irrespective of achievement.
• Things will make me happy – We are poor at predicting what will make us happy in the future. What makes you the happiest? This question from Buddha is difficult to answer. Winning lotto? Getting married? Buying a new car? This hedonic treadmill does not cause happiness as we adapt to our circumstances which become the new normal.
• I can change them – There is one person in this world you can truly change. Yourself and that takes a tremendous amount of effort. The only way that people change is through the desire and wherewithal to change themselves. We can’t and shouldn’t ‘fix’ others.

The antidote to expectations may be cultivating gratitude.

"Expectations – the real happiness killer". HumanPsychology. Accessed on Jan. 26, 2024

You can discard most of the junk that clutters your mind – things that exist only there – and clear out space for yourself:

…by comprehending the scale of the world

…by contemplating infinite time

…by thinking of the speed with which things change – each part of every thing; the narrow space between our birth and death; the infinite time before, the equally unbounded time that follows.

 

Marcus Aurelius

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Modern Library. 2003. P.125, Book 9, #32. Also see The Internet Classics Archive | The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (mit.edu)

improvement of the individual

“Some may ask why we as a people and church quietly and consistently seek to change individuals while there are such large problems about us. … But decaying cities are simply a delayed reflection of decaying individuals. … The commandments of God give emphasis to improvement of the individual as the only real way to bring about the real improvement of society” (A Plea for America [1975], 18).

“The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of the people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. … Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature” (“Born of God,” Ensign, Nov. 1985, 6).

Spencer W. Kimball

"Christ Can Change Human Behavior," by Elder Richard E. Cook. General Conference. April 1998. 

Jesus: The Perfect Leader - Responsibility

Jesus knew how to involve his disciples in the process of life. He gave them important and specific things to do for their development. Other leaders have sought to be so omnicompetent that they have tried to do everything themselves, which produces little growth in others. Jesus trusts his followers enough to share his work with them so that they can grow. That is one of the greatest lessons of his leadership. If we brush other people aside in order to see a task done more quickly and effectively, the task may get done all right, but without the growth and development in followers that is so important. Because Jesus knows that this life is purposeful and that we have been placed on this planet in order to perform and grow, growth then becomes one of the great ends of life as well as a means. We can give corrective feedback to others in a loving and helpful way when mistakes are made.

Jesus was not afraid to make demands of those he led. His leadership was not condescending or soft. He had the courage to call Peter and others to leave their fishing nets and to follow him, not after the fishing season or after the next catch, but now! today! Jesus let people know that he believed in them and in their possibilities, and thus he was free to help them stretch their souls in fresh achievement. So much secular leadership is condescending and, in many ways, contemptuous of mankind because it treats people as if they were to be coddled and cocooned forever. Jesus believed in his followers, not alone for what they were, but for what they had the possibilities to become. While others would have seen Peter as a fisherman, Jesus could see him as a powerful religious leader—courageous, strong—who would leave his mark upon much of mankind. In loving others, we can help them to grow by making reasonable but real demands of them.

Jesus gave people truths and tasks that were matched to their capacity. He did not overwhelm them with more than they could manage, but gave them enough to stretch their souls. Jesus was concerned with basics in human nature and in bringing about lasting changes, not simply cosmetic changes.

  

  

  

Jesus: The Perfect Leader By President Spencer W. Kimball. From an address delivered to the Young Presidents organization, Sun Valley, Idaho, 15 January 1977. Ensign. August 1979.

change and decay

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day; 

earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away; 

change and decay in all around I see; 

O thou who changest not, abide with me.

Abide with Me
Text: Henry F. Lyte, 1793-1847
Music: W.H. Monk, 1823-1889
Tune: EVENTIDE

fervent prayer is key

If anyone who is addicted has a desire to overcome, then there is a way to spiritual freedom—a way to escape from bondage—a way that is proven. It begins with prayer—sincere, fervent, and constant communication with the Creator of our spirits and bodies, our Heavenly Father. It is the same principle in breaking a bad habit or repenting from sin of any kind. The formula for having our heart, our body, our mind, and our spirit transformed is found in the scriptures.
The prophet Mormon counseled us: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love … ; that ye may become the sons of God; … that we may be purified even as he is pure” (Moroni 7:48)...
 
To those who are dealing with an addiction personally or within your family, I repeat, fervent prayer is key to gaining the spiritual strength to find peace and overcome an addictive craving. Heavenly Father loves all of His children, so thank Him and express sincere faith in Him. Ask Him for the strength to overcome the addiction you are experiencing. Set aside all pride and turn your life and your heart to Him. Ask to be filled with the power of Christ’s pure love. You may have to do this many times, but I testify to you that your body, mind, and spirit can be transformed, cleansed, and made whole, and you will be freed. Jesus said, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life” (John 8:12).




M. Russell Ballard, "O That Cunning Plan of the Evil One," General Conference October 2010

ways in which you yourself have altered

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find ways in which you yourself have altered.

Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela. Back Bay Books. 1995.

we all must deal with adversity

With all the differences in our lives, we have at least one challenge in common. We all must deal with adversity. There may be periods, sometimes long ones, when our lives seem to flow with little difficulty. But it is in the nature of our being human that comfort gives way to distress, periods of good health come to an end, and misfortunes arrive. Particularly when the comfortable times have gone on for a while, the arrival of suffering or the loss of material security can bring fear and sometimes even anger.

The anger comes at least in part from a feeling that what is happening is unfair. The good health and the serene sense of being secure can become to seem deserved and natural. When they vanish, a feeling of injustice can come. Even a brave man I knew wept and cried out in his physical suffering to those who ministered to him: “I have always tried to be good. How could this happen?”

That aching for an answer to “How could this happen?” becomes even more painful when those struggling include those we love. And it is especially hard for us to accept when those afflicted seem to us to be blameless. Then the distress can shake faith in the reality of a loving and all-powerful God. Some of us have seen such doubt come to infect a whole generation of people in times of war or famine. Such doubt can grow and spread until some may turn away from God, whom they charge with being indifferent or cruel. And if unchecked, those feelings can lead to loss of faith that there is a God at all.

My purpose today is to assure you that our Heavenly Father and the Savior live and that They love all humanity. The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of Their infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants, to think as He thinks, and thus be prepared for the trust of an endless posterity to teach and to lead through tests to be raised up to qualify to live forever in eternal life.

It is clear that for us to have that gift and to be given that trust, we must be transformed through making righteous choices where that is hard to do. We are prepared for so great a trust by passing through trying and testing experiences in mortality. That education can come only as we are subject to trials while serving God and others for Him.

In this education we experience misery and happiness, sickness and health, the sadness from sin and the joy of forgiveness. That forgiveness can come only through the infinite Atonement of the Savior, which He worked out through pain we could not bear and which we can only faintly comprehend.

It will comfort us when we must wait in distress for the Savior’s promised relief that He knows, from experience, how to heal and help us. The Book of Mormon gives us the certain assurance of His power to comfort. And faith in that power will give us patience as we pray and work and wait for help. He could have known how to succor us simply by revelation, but He chose to learn by His own personal experience.



Henry B. Eyring, "Adversity," Ensign, May 2009

"I doubt she'll want to spend no time in San Antonio," Augustus said. "That's where she was before she came here, and women don't like to go backwards. Most women will never back up an inch their whole lives."


Larry McMurtry - Lonesome Dove, 1985. p.198

Suffering in behalf of another seems to have its major impact for good when at least four elements are present. First, the sufferer is pure and worthy. In this sense there was only one completely without blemish, one worthy of suffering spiritually for all others. Second, the cause for which he suffers is just. There is no worthier cause than that for which the Savior suffered, namely, bringing to pass "the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). Third, the recipient knows and loves the sufferer. And fourth, the recipient appreciates the cause for which the suffering occurs. When these four elements simultaneously exist, the chemistry for human behavioral change is explosive.

Tad R. Callister, The Infinite Atonement. 2000. p.217

It is not easy to express the radical change that prayer represents, since for many the word “prayer” is associated with piety, talking to God, thinking about God, morning and evening exercises, Sunday services, grace before meals, sentences from the Bible, and many other things. All of these have something to do with prayer, but when I speak about prayer… I speak first of all about moving away from the dwelling place of those who hate peace into the house of God…. Prayer is the center of the Christian life. It is the only necessary thing (Luke 10:42). It is living with God here and now.

Henri J.M. Nouwen (Nijkerk, January 24, 1932 - Hilversum, September 21, 1996) A Dutch Catholic priest and writer who authored 40 books on the spiritual life.

The Only Necessary Thing: Living A Prayerful Life, Compiled & Edited by Wendy Wilson Greer. 1999. p. 25, “Prayer and Peacemaking.” Catholic Agitator (December 1982): 4-5.