Your growth in Christ will go no further than you settledness, way down deep in your heart, that God loves you. That he has pulled you in to his own deepest heart. His affection for his own never wanes, never sours, never cools. Half-hearted is not who he is. That thing about you that makes you wince most only strengthens his delight in embracing you. At your point of deepest shame and regret, that's where Christ loves you the most. The old Puritan Thomas Goodwin wrote that "Christ is love covered over with flesh." It's who he is.
Divine love is not calculating and cautious, like ours. The God of the Bible is unrestrained. If we are united to Jesus Christ, our sins do not cause his love to take a hit. Through our sins will make us more miserable, they cause his love to surge forward all the more.
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