hold your tongues

Mothers, teach your daughters that a faithful daughter of God avoids the temptation to gossip or judge one another. In a sermon to the Relief Society of Nauvoo, the Prophet Joseph counseled, “The tongue is an unruly member—hold your tongues about things of no moment” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith [2007], 455).


Elder M. Russell Ballard, "Mothers and Daughters." General Conference, April 2010

speak well of eachother

Speak well of each other. Think of the last time you were asked what you thought about how someone else was doing in your family or in the Church. It happened to me more than once in the past week. Now, there are times we must judge others. Sometimes we are required to pronounce such judgments. But more often we can make a choice. For instance, suppose someone asks you what you think of the new bishop.

As we get better and better at forging unity, we will think of a scripture when we hear that question: “And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall also be judged."

Realizing that you see others in an imperfect light will make you likely to be a little more generous in what you say. In addition to that scripture, you might remember your mother saying—mine did—“If you can’t say anything good about a person, don’t say anything at all.”

That will help you look for what is best in the bishop’s performance and character. The Savior, as your loving judge, will surely do that as He judges your performance and mine. The scripture and what you heard from your mother may well lead you to describe what is best in the bishop’s performance and his good intent. I can promise you a feeling of peace and joy when you speak generously of others in the Light of Christ. You will feel, for instance, unity with that bishop and with the person who asked your opinion, not because the bishop is perfect or because the person asking you shares your generous evaluation. It will be because the Lord will let you feel His appreciation for choosing to step away from the possibility of sowing seeds of disunity.



Henry B. Eyring, “Our Hearts Knit as One,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 68–71

I don't say it and I don't think it," responded Sancho. "It's their affair and let them eat it with their bread; whether or not they were lovers, they've already made their accounting with God; I tend to my vines, it's their business, not mine; I don't stick my nose in; if you buy and lie, your purse wants to know why. Besides, naked I was born, and naked I'll die: I don't lose or gain a thing; whatever they were, it's all the same to me. And many folks think there's bacon when there's not even a hook to hang it on. But who can put doors on a field? Let them say what they please, I don't care.



Sancho Panza in De Cervantes, Miguel (2003.) Don Quixote. (Edith Grossman, Trans.). New York City, NY: Harper Collins (Original work published 1605, 1615) p. 191-2